Writen by: Robbert Eggers and Sjón / Directed by Robert Eggers / Distributed in the UK by Universal Pictures International / 137 Minutes
Review by Rob Deb.
22nd May 2022
The Pitch: Prince Amleth is on the verge of becoming a man when his father is brutally murdered by his uncle, who kidnaps the boy's mother. Two decades later, Amleth is now a Viking who raids Slavic villages. He soon meets a seeress who reminds him of his vow -- save his mother, kill his uncle, and avenge his father.
The Northman is a dark film, saturated in bleak tones and there is no cardigan to keep you warm in this Nordic noir, at best you can hope the blood and viscera of your slain enemies complete with a copper tang up your nose will do something to keep out the chill. It is a film of dark shadows and hard fires and I do recommend, if not the cinema, you find the highest resolution 4k edition when you do watch it as it is only the flickers of ash and snow as our protagonist prowls like a wolf through the landscape.
In many ways, this is the anti-Avatar, though in a similar vein the story is really little more than a vehicle for the vision that unfolds. A young boy’s destiny to be king, thwarted by betrayal and usurpation, only to return and through strength, guile, and frankly sheer bloody pecs, reclaiming his birthright while facing great costs. But between the grey skies, the blood, mud and fires there is very little of the day-glow colours you may assume in such fantasy. This film makes the Gotham city of ‘The Batman’ look like it was designed by Pixar and covered in skittles.
there are shades of del toro in the fantasy sequences
What follows is almost, sadly, a video game story as our young prince Amleth goes through a number of levelling up set-pieces which involve stealthing, sneaking, and searching for magic wisdom, ultimately having a boss battle to get a magic sword. The design and production are utterly sumptuous and the supernatural is admirably pagan, passionate, elemental and at times, chthullic. With shades of Del Toro in the fantasy sequences, they become suitably captivating.
There are moments of doubt and conflict in the story, but ultimately even the strongest curveballs to Amleth’s motivation are resolved with little more than a moment of doubt followed by a resilient shrug and a ho-hum attitude to utter destruction. All in a backdrop that seems like someone playing dark souls with one hand and the telly off in order to raise the difficulty of life. The sense of frailty and mortality pervades as everything is death and can kill you. There is one scene of Knattleikr that is so brutal I don't think I could ever feel the same way about Quidditch again. Ultimately the story sticks to its guns, its nose-slit villains, and volcano dance battles aside, and drives beyond cliche with a sense of conviction and craft one can't help but admire and be carried along with.
EVERYONE PLAYS THE ROLES THEY WERE DESTINED TO
At over two hours the plotline of ‘man goes up a hill and comes down with another man's guts’ isn’t really strong enough to maintain interest. The ominous portent can lull into portentous at times. This is no smart revisiting or deconstruction of myth either. Everyone plays the role they are destined to. Our hero is He-Man of the highest order and his beloved claims to be a sorceress. Olga (played by Anya Taylor-Joy) does little except talk about her influence and remains solidly a prize. Alexander Skarsgard is a great Conan lead. From his introduction as a berserker covered in blood searching for his homeland, you feel he is an embodiment of toxic masculinity, who has been to the G.P., been told the condition is chronic and has, frankly, become addicted to it.
While no film has a duty to do anything but tell a story, the run time makes the sheer machismo and brutality quite hard going once the scenery and production values have blended into the normalcy. I will add that while it is a hard film for me personally to recommend, it does have some great strengths in the performances, and is epic in scale and detail, let down by an uneventful tale that leaves me disinterested in the title or the crown or family. As I have been quite late in the run in the theatres I do think it's important to note the groups of young men who were at my screening, all very intensely engaged with what we saw and trying to start rounds of applause at the end of it. I daresay for many of them it was a second visit. For that alone, it may have some merit for you. I think it was a strong hand, but the blade was too dull to reach my chest.
The Lion King gets a grim and gritty reboot with shades of Thrones thrown over a grimdark fantasy with blood, bone, but little heart.